Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
