ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
