one word: firstdatebathroomanal
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This house was built for laser tag.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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