The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
