before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
