Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
