'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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