I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He passed out mid-signature
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I am available for nakedness
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
