so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
