That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize