The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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