I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
