I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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