I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
