hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
