My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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