Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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