Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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