people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
