Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize