She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
no you cant smoke seaweed
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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