6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize