She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
