at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
