How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
