he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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