He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
