love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
