I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
