before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
