forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
