Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
