well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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