Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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