; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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