Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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