He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
