I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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