Have you finally orgasmed yet?
She said her name was "party"
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
