so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
This is classic penis vs brain.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
