Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize
