we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
