Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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