So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize