My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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