and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
