Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
