thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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