wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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