Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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