Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
