I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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