I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize