how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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