at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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