Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
