i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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