so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
