i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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