were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Come see our sink grown plant.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
