ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm eating all of the evidence.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
