I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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