If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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