Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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