How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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